How do I talk about this, how do I get it out of my head and into something more manageable.
I have received word that someone rather close to us is now a prostitute. And that her “boyfriend” is her pimp. This happens a lot here in our province as it does in many cities with large drug problems. I don’t know if I will publish this or not. But I may. I like how getting the words out of my head and onto (or into) the computer help. I would like some valuable insight for I am struggling with talking to Nicole about this. We are the type of family that talks about everything, why should this be different. This sin’t my story to tell her, but if she hears it from someone else she will over react.
My fear is that my little love bug, my sweet innocent little girl, who used to hang out with her and caught her smoking up once can relate to her. Because she knows her. Also because they are so similar. I know her problems are bigger than Nicole’s because she doesn’t have a stable family home, she doesn’t have the love that Nicole does, from both her parents. But Nicole has the anxiety and the fear that no one likes her. I’m scared in the pit of my stomach from this news because…what if it happens to Nicole.
She is so impressionable, and naive. She has ADHD and anxiety, maybe OCD, and sensory processing disorder. And yes we have great days now, because she is twelve…What is going to happen when she is 15 and 16 years old. Can I lock her in her room until she is 25 and knows how to live on her own, without the help of narcotics or alcohol. Nope, can’t do that, thats illegal…
The medication she is using isn’t helping with her anxiety, how long before she discovers weed and that it helps settle her mind. Am I a strong enough mother to help her through everything that comes our way. I already don’t trust the friends that she has at school. Two of them left her alone at the gym over the weekend, didn’t care that she would be there by herself for 3 hours, just left. We had to go get her earlier than expected.
She is mad at them then makes up as soon as they talk to her again. What am I to do. I want to switch schools, but she needs to stand up for herself, not let these kids walk all over her. What happens when they start offering her smokes? Then coolers? Have I taught her enough that she will know when the right time to say no is, will she call me and tell me she doesn’t feel comfortable and she needs me to pick her up?
Needless to say, I’m freaking out a bit. This child that I have known most of her life has felt so desperate that she needed to turn to drugs and now prostitution. We have reached out to her, but she has anger problems and she didn’t want the help. She had a mom who left her early, a lot of anger issues, anxiety, and a father who was just trying the best he could. I guess she felt like she had no one to turn too. I don’t understand because she has a grandfather that is a 5 minute walk from her home, and she has no problem asking him for money for “weed”, they were always close, but when ever any of us try to talk to her she would lash out. She has lost a tremendous amount of weight and we are sure she is into much more than weed.
Nicole looked up to her, spent nights at her house, played with her. AJ is very close to her in age and they use to hang out and play and I sometimes wished my kids had a little of her spunk. She doesn’t take shit off anyone. But now she is in a bit of predicament and I don’t know how she is going to react. Will she be pushed over the edge to suicide. Will she feel like she has nothing to live for? Will she just run away because she feel like none of us understand.
Here is my question to all of you. Have you had a similar experience to this, did you have children that you felt you had to protect from a person they were once close to. A family friend, an aunt. Even a mother or grandmother, father or grandfather. Do I open up about this with Nicole. I feel like she will find out anyway, our family (being ADHD) have a hard time keeping things quiet. I’m scared that this may set Nicole back with her own mental health. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow after she gets her needles. We need to do more for her mental health, because the way we are going now is not the way we should be going. She needs therapy. I guess that is another thing Nicole has a mother who will fight for her and push her towards the better way of things. We are open and she trusts that we talk about anything. So I guess I will talk to her. I will sit down tonight with both my girls and talk to them about mental health and how important it is to reach out when they are feeling low. No matter how uncomfortable they are.
Please share your experiences with us, so we can know we are not alone.
Thank you all for reading