Hello again!!!

Hello all my wonderful and dedicated followers. I must apologize for being away for such a long time. Summer flew by in a whirlwind of doctors appointments, beach days,  and photo shoots with my new camera!!!

We have so much going on but at the same time nothing. Do you have months like that? Where you feel like everything is happening at once, but nothing at the same time?

Nicole has been doing great, started school without a hiccup. And has been going everyday not late, until this week, she has gotten a head cold and I have kept her home. Her new pills seem to be working quite well and she is the one to up her medication when she feels she needs it. She is taking her own health into her own hands. More responsible and accountable. She still needs to work on handing in her homework and bringing materials home. But small steps.

She stood up to a bully in school the other day, for picking on another child in the class who has ADHD, this kids was yelling at him and Nicole stepped in and told the bully to leave him alone because he doesn’t understand ADHD and that he can’t control when he interrupts and how he acts sometimes. I guess she went on a full rant and tore into the guy. But hasn’t been to school since because of her cold, so I don’t know if it helped. She also posted a YouTube video about how upset she was about how people can be inhuman to others.

She is being more confident in everything, I am so proud of her improvements and changes she has made in her life. She cut off some very negative people from her life and has become more mature in the past few months.

Of course she still has days where she is not feeling the best, and still has panic attacks. She seems able to overcome these quicker.

The cons:

The one thing I will say negative about the medication, and I’m not even sure if it has anything to do with the medication. She has begun to pick at any scab that she has on her body, and unfortunately she has quite a few on her face. We have discussed it with one of her doctors and she said it is part of her OCD. She is hardly aware of what she is doing anymore, but she feels a sense of relief when she picks the scab. I looked this up and have to agree that it is part of OCD:

Excoriation disorder, is said to be a mental health disorder. Skin picking is a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) that typically begins during adolescence, commonly coinciding with, or following the onset of, puberty around ages 13-15, 

I found that on This website

So we have to throw in OCD to the list of things going on inside of Nicole’s head. I already thought she had OCD, as she is an obsessive worrier. Now we just have confirmation. They say the Zoloft will help with this, but I find it gets worse when she is on medication.

She is also losing weight because the vyvanse suppresses her appetite.

Their is no winning sometimes. She is doing good in school, but other issues with the medication will make me stop her from taking the medication.

Has any one else had experience with Zoloft? We would love to hear from you!




Ocd or just anxiety??? Thoughts from Hyper child Nicole

Hey guys,

Today I was going to talk about my anxiety. My anxiety has been causing me some trouble in school. I have 7 assignments due in 3 days and I just can’t focus on my school work.  I’m VERY overwhelmed.

Reason, why I’m writing this post is because I have been going through ALOT and I thought I would tell you what is helping me thru this:
My friends: my friends have always been helping me calm down and just breath.


Minecraft: Minecraft always helps me calm down, but I can’t play it until I get my assignments done.

I’m very overwhelmed at the moment and my anxiety is taking control of my mind.

I’m going to tell you about something that happened at school. So someone in my school has diabetes I think, I saw her pricking her finger, and I hate needles. So she pricked her finger and that… mad me very scared because I don’t want diabetes. And I haven’t been eating the best lately. And last week one of the girls tried to(or said she was going to) cut her wrists in the bathroom. It made me very worried and concerned. I kept thinking about it. My anxiety has kept getting worse since that happened.

My mom thinks I have ocd… because I sometimes forget to brush my teeth and if I remember sometimes and it bothers me, I think somethings going to happen to me even if its one night so I ask my mom should I brush my teeth and she says it should be fine,  then I say ok, but it keeps bothering me so I get up and brush my teeth. I also have to make sure the doors are locked at night, and the needle thing at school just would not leave my brain today. I kept thinking about it over and over.

So ya, let me know if that sounds like ocd. I’m going to a doctors appointment soon so ya bye.

Hyper Child Nicole.

Chill mom Julia

I’m just going to add on here tonight. Nicole has been worrying a lot more lately as I have said in previous posts, I have thought before that she may have OCD, but this most recent “intrusive thought” about the diabetes is bothering me now. Once something is in her head it sticks there (Number one reason why she will not sleep on her own, and why she has to make sure the doors are locked at night) She has made herself sick today, just thinking about the needle and how scared she is of getting diabetes. So, of course, we talked about it on the way home this evening and yes I’m going to talk to her doctor. I told her we will be going to be asking to get a referral to see a therapist. It is not getting better. If anything she is getting worse. After reading “Turtles all the way down” and creeping around on the internet I have a better understanding of OCD and intrusive thoughts. They sound just like this one with diabetes. Thinking so much about it that she made herself sick.  Every time she has an ache or pain she thinks she has cancer, or worse. And the other day she heard a message on the voice mail for a surgery for me, oral surgery, nothing big and she freaked out. Didn’t want me to have the surgery. I know one of her worries is my death. Its where all her anxiety started years ago.

Thanks for reading and any advice is greatly appreciated!

Chill Mom Julia



Turtles all the way down. My first book Review!

This will be my first book review, any thoughts and opinions are my own!

As soon as I heard about this book from another review from The Lantern Slide blog https://thelanternslide.com/about/ a few days after the book came out I ran out and purchased it.

Since reading Turtles All The Way Down I have been wanting to review it, for the simple fact that it ties in with our blog. Dealing with anxiety on a daily basis is one of the hardest things to ever put into words. Nicole struggles with this. She told me the other day that her mind was buzzing with thoughts and she couldn’t catch them. I love Green’s accurate description of anxiety as a spiral. I felt pulled into this book and into Aza’s intrusive thoughts.

John Green GETS this, and has put it into words like no one has before. His flow, the constant barrage of negative thoughts, and how Aza can not control any of it. Sounds so much like my daughter, I kept putting Nicole right in this novel and how she will be going through this stuff in a few years, like the main character in the novel.

I loved the surprises throughout the novel; it kept me guessing and at one point I shushed my oldest daughter while she was coming in the door because I was at a really good part and could not put the book down. She was trying to ask me questions and I was like, wait until I get to the end of the chapter!!!

The only thing I didn’t like in the novel was her therapist. I think Green made her like this on purpose because there was no one else in the novel that I could hate. She doesn’t seem to be as caring as most of the therapists that I have dealt with. The way the therapist deals with her “intrusive thoughts” by telling her she definitely does not have something, is counter productive. We were taught that when Nicole is struggling with her anxiety to ask herself how likely something is to be happening. So when I was late picking her up she use to automatically think I had died, the group therapy she went to told her she had to ask herself how likely it was that I had died, and to do some “detective thinking” to calm herself down. I loved this method for dealing with it, because it does calm her down, because she has to slow down her thoughts into manageable smaller thoughts. It works for her.  They tell us to use this method because you can not tell someone 100 percent that something will never happen. For Nicole we could never tell her I would never die, because the reality is that I could die in a car crash, so we have to teach them that the likely hood of something like that happening is still a viable option, and in doing so how to deal with their fears, questioning them and bringing them out into the light so to speak.

We do see Aza and the therapist do this;

“Have you recently taken antibiotics?”


“Have you been hospitalized recently?”

“No” *Page 91

But then Dr. Singh tells her straight out that her fear isn’t a viable option. I despised that, only because I know it doesn’t work for Nicole.

(I don’t want to give away any good parts, you’ll have to read it to get the whole picture)

Aza’s friendship with her best friend was endearing. They compliment each other, rounded each other out. It was a frustrating friendship near the end and Nicole can relate to this as well.

Hopefully I can get Nicole to do her own review as well, I feel she will love this book, but reading to her is a struggle, because of her attention span.

Turtles all the way down made me laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes. It was an emotional journey and I would highly recommend, not only to everyone dealing with anxiety or OCD, but to anyone who enjoys a good read.

Thanks so much John Green for another spectacular book!

*Green, John. (2017). Turtles all the way down , New York, NY: Dutton Books


Chill Mom Julia